I go in and out of yoga kicks and I'm on one now, thanks to a Two Weeks for Twenty Dollars promotion I'm trying to wring every penny of value out of. I went five times last week, which is a personal record for any type of physical activity besides walking and breathing. Every teacher does it a different way and I'm fairly unappreciative of the 'yoga voice' - that breathy, steady voice talking about the third eye and namaste-ing with a lilt. But a few tidbits of advice stick with me and I have tried to keep in mind:
1. Your feet are part of this pose
It's really easy to half-ass it in yoga. You can flow through poses without really doing the poses (or being the poses, as one hippie teacher loves to point out). In order to get the most out of it, every part of your body is part of the pose. Sometimes its job is to relax, or help provide alignment. Pointed toes or flexed feet or heels twisted in or out a certain way change the experience with a pose entirely.
2. When you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back
No need to berate yourself, just remind yourself that the constant review of what that annoying coworker said, the nagging list of to-dos, or sense of pathetic self that you're not actually so good at yoga aren't doing much good. Part of moving forward with anything is emptying the brain and going with the Flow (the yoga flow, not the river flow, or wherever that saying came from).
3. Follow your breath
Much like feet and thoughts, breathing intentionally can make an enormous difference to the experience on the mat. I had a boyfriend in college who would always what sounded like sigh all the time and every time I asked him what was up he'd say 'I think we just don't breathe enough.'
So true!
2.13.2016
1.27.2016
3 Things I Want to SHOUT at Shonda Rimes
Twelve seasons in and I still watch Grey's Anatomy. I made it three seasons, lost steam for another 3, caught up, then watched another 2, then lost interest again, and since season 9, it's the only show I watch every Friday morning on my sister's Hulu account. I can't count how many times friends and strangers have said 'I loved that show, but I just can't do it anymore.' I myself have almost stopped watching a number of times. But I can't! Even though I regularly want to shout out the following things to mastermind creator Shonda Rimes:
1. Not every relationship is miserable.
Seriously. The ones who are happy are happy for five minutes until Shonda rips it apart. I get that relationship drama makes for good TV, but you know, Shonda, not all drama has to be couples breaking up, cheating, or pining. Sometimes couples are just happy couples who fight sometimes. In fact, that's more relatable than everyone breaking up. I must not be the only one begging happiness, please!
2. Death is not the only way to end a character
So she hasn't killed everyone. Izzy (miraculously) didn't die but ran away (and good thing. I like Alex with Jo much better), Burke left for Switzerland, and apparently Callie is off to New York (a fact that annoys me because of #1. She and Arizona were so great together! But whatever, at least it's open-ended). But freaking everyone else who disappeared- George, Mark, Lexie (and both her parents), Derek, all those Mercy West docs... Noel from Felicity and Denny get a fair pass since they were basically terminal patients to start, but wouldn't it be great if one of these adorable dreamboats... LIVED?
3. Surgeons date non-surgeons!
With the exception of Richard and Adele and a few relationships with dying patients (Izzy and Teddy, see above) and a few flings (Derek with the nurse and Miranda with the nurse), everyone only dates and hooks up with surgeons. Even when Miranda was dating dating Ben, an anesthesiologist ended up going back to train to be a surgeon, because apparently being an anesthesiologist isn't hardcore enough. Whatever, the show is about surgeons, but there are tons of other people with interesting lives and dynamics and it wouldn't kill the characters to interact with them in a meaningful way (or maybe it would... see #2).
1. Not every relationship is miserable.
Seriously. The ones who are happy are happy for five minutes until Shonda rips it apart. I get that relationship drama makes for good TV, but you know, Shonda, not all drama has to be couples breaking up, cheating, or pining. Sometimes couples are just happy couples who fight sometimes. In fact, that's more relatable than everyone breaking up. I must not be the only one begging happiness, please!
2. Death is not the only way to end a character
So she hasn't killed everyone. Izzy (miraculously) didn't die but ran away (and good thing. I like Alex with Jo much better), Burke left for Switzerland, and apparently Callie is off to New York (a fact that annoys me because of #1. She and Arizona were so great together! But whatever, at least it's open-ended). But freaking everyone else who disappeared- George, Mark, Lexie (and both her parents), Derek, all those Mercy West docs... Noel from Felicity and Denny get a fair pass since they were basically terminal patients to start, but wouldn't it be great if one of these adorable dreamboats... LIVED?
3. Surgeons date non-surgeons!
With the exception of Richard and Adele and a few relationships with dying patients (Izzy and Teddy, see above) and a few flings (Derek with the nurse and Miranda with the nurse), everyone only dates and hooks up with surgeons. Even when Miranda was dating dating Ben, an anesthesiologist ended up going back to train to be a surgeon, because apparently being an anesthesiologist isn't hardcore enough. Whatever, the show is about surgeons, but there are tons of other people with interesting lives and dynamics and it wouldn't kill the characters to interact with them in a meaningful way (or maybe it would... see #2).
1.07.2016
3 Questions to Ask When Making Goals That Matter
Some people don't like the word resolution because the common assumption and water cooler joke is that most resolutions get broken by the end of January. So goals it is. I think a lot about goals. Make them less frequently. Accomplish them so sporadically I can hardly chalk achievement up to anything but the power of passively having thought about the vague notions of what I want to be or do without any further planning or execution. There's a place for mindset in goal achievement, but if you're actually looking to accomplish thing, it's best to not count on it. Thinking your way to success isn't recommended by any life, success, or become a millionaire motivational quotes I can find. I'll keep looking, though, because I do think there's something to the inching along that comes from just thinking about it.
ANYWAY, to be more proactive this year, I've made and followed a goal-making process (and blogging it because that makes it real)- one I've amalgamated from dozens of goal experts and fakers on the internet to suit my needs. It involves asking yourself three involved questions:
1. What is important to me?
You can make goals for anything. And if you think goal-making is time-consuming and exhausting, the regular expression of actually following through on said goals is even more of at time and energy suck. Fact is not all categories of goals are most important to you right now. Best to pick categories, weed out ones that don't feel as important (or combine, as seems to make sense), and rank them in order of weight. Ties are allowed. Some categories to consider:
ANYWAY, to be more proactive this year, I've made and followed a goal-making process (and blogging it because that makes it real)- one I've amalgamated from dozens of goal experts and fakers on the internet to suit my needs. It involves asking yourself three involved questions:
1. What is important to me?
You can make goals for anything. And if you think goal-making is time-consuming and exhausting, the regular expression of actually following through on said goals is even more of at time and energy suck. Fact is not all categories of goals are most important to you right now. Best to pick categories, weed out ones that don't feel as important (or combine, as seems to make sense), and rank them in order of weight. Ties are allowed. Some categories to consider:
- Family
- Friends
- Marriage/relationship
- Parenthood
- Health
- Beauty
- Spirituality
- Service
- Career Development
- Personal Development
- Creativity
- Wealth creation
- Fun and Exploration
- Lifestyle
- Productivity
- Travel
2. What do I want to become? What do I want to achieve?
This breaks down two pretty standard types of goals: Outcomes and Processes. Outcomes end up fitting nicely onto a to-do list, some items checked off in the near term or long term (Hike Mailbox Peak, Write and publish a book). The other type is much more amorphous and harder to set goals around because it's things like 'Be a good person' and 'Place the right amount of emphasis on things I deem important'. SMART goal junkies hate these goals because setting measurable outcomes is almost impossible and when they are possible, picking apart outcomes often dilutes the more potent meaning of the goal in the first place.
I've heard it recommended to think about what you want written in your obituary. Or how you want to look back on your life at retirement. Or next New Years Day. Take your pick. Focus on character traits, accomplishments, defining characteristics. Who do I want to be? This is where the categories from question one come in handy. Otherwise there's just too much life to be picked apart.
Over and over and over: "In regard to my Marriage (or whatever category you're on), I want to be someone who is/has ______ " until every category is exhausted. Or you're exhausted. And if you're the exhausted one, skip it and come back for more later.
3. What can I do in the upcoming month or year to become that person, to do those things?
Coming back to the whole mindset idea, I'm a firm believer that just having thought about where you want to be going and written something down about what that means for your day-to-day, you're more likely to make some sort of progress. So the final part of the process is figuring out what the year should be filled with to move you closer to that person who has done whatever and has become whatever. Things, activities, attitudes, don't hold back. Don't get too hung up on measurables, timing, and all that "This is how you actually succeed at goals" business. You can't do that for every way you want to be better and if you try your brain will explode or you will have a mental breakdown. It's just too much and then you can't focus on the big picture of personal progress.
So it's just a brain dump.
I do recommend taking 5-7 of the 'how am I gonna get there' items and really dig into the how, when, why and all that SMART jazz. But we've all gotten that tutorial before, and this is bigger and better than that (so I keep telling myself).
So it's just a brain dump.
I do recommend taking 5-7 of the 'how am I gonna get there' items and really dig into the how, when, why and all that SMART jazz. But we've all gotten that tutorial before, and this is bigger and better than that (so I keep telling myself).
3 Observations from watching Cold Mountain
1. War is just the worst. It brings out the worst in people and makes living the worst for those who stay good.
2. People in history must have just been cold all.the.time.
3. Watching babies cry in movies is waaaay more traumatic now than before having a kid.
Case in point for all three, this scene:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U4ZtDr6CqD0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
2. People in history must have just been cold all.the.time.
3. Watching babies cry in movies is waaaay more traumatic now than before having a kid.
Case in point for all three, this scene:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U4ZtDr6CqD0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
10.14.2015
3 Pieces of Art
Lately I've been really into buying art. Not fancy pants stuff but stuff I just love. Today I was looking through the coffee table book of Steve McCurry photographs (his Afghani girl with green eyes photo is perhaps one of the most well known photos ever) and was just amazed at how I can like many photos, can appreciate the technique and value of others and then there are just a few that almost made my head buzz I like them so much.
Last summer I walked around the Bellevue Arts fair, which takes up the mall parking garage for a long weekend every summer and came away with two strong emotions: first, I just want my life to be full of beautiful things. And second, a sort of desperation at how expensive it can be. (Side note: I wonder if modern tools and technology have made making really wonderful art more accessible and affordable. I imagine so. There's just so much crap out there too)
There's this feeling when you find a piece of art you love that honestly feels like love. It may sound overly dramatic but it really is true. It doesn't happen often, but when it does there's this feeling of completeness, if only for a moment. I'm sure there's some quote from the Goldfinch about it, which I read recently, something about how you see this beautiful thing and get lost in it. It makes you happy or sad or confused or whatever. I get back to reality pretty quick, but that moment is memorable.
Purchases of late:
1. Rising by Robert Tandecki
This was one I saw at the Bellevue Arts Fair last year. Loved it. Knew Porter would love it, and talked myself out of buying it. I thought about it enough times that I tracked down the guy down and bought it from his house in Sumner. Felt very shady, even though it wasn't.
The orca is Porter's spirit animal. The mountains are his inspiration. And he lives for the sea. And it sure does look nice.
2. Pancakes by Pascal Campion
I follow Pascal's daily sketches on Instagram (as should everyone, I say). He is a genius with color and depicting moments, usually around family life and cities that are entirely relatable. Some of my favorites show a kid staring up at the sky, a series of activity in a kitchen, and a potty training celebration.
I bought this one because one, Pascal was having an Instagram followers sale where I saved like four bucks, and two, this is so me and Porter. The light. The energy. The smiles that match Porter's and mine when I just want to kiss him hard and he's in the middle of doing something productive.
3. Melancholy by Edward Degas
I saw this at a museum once, I can't remember where, but I remember it was on a dark blue wall and I kept coming back to it. Melancholy, I think, is one of the most potent emotions. Even though the way I experience it, it almost feels like a non-emotion. Difficult to articulate but it is easy to identify. I can track emotional times in my life by memorable bouts of melancholy.
So I loved it like I haven't many pieces of art hanging in museums and I think about it sometimes even when not feeling melancholy, there's something so familiar about her expression. So I bought it. And now I own it. And I can look at it whenever I want.
Last summer I walked around the Bellevue Arts fair, which takes up the mall parking garage for a long weekend every summer and came away with two strong emotions: first, I just want my life to be full of beautiful things. And second, a sort of desperation at how expensive it can be. (Side note: I wonder if modern tools and technology have made making really wonderful art more accessible and affordable. I imagine so. There's just so much crap out there too)
There's this feeling when you find a piece of art you love that honestly feels like love. It may sound overly dramatic but it really is true. It doesn't happen often, but when it does there's this feeling of completeness, if only for a moment. I'm sure there's some quote from the Goldfinch about it, which I read recently, something about how you see this beautiful thing and get lost in it. It makes you happy or sad or confused or whatever. I get back to reality pretty quick, but that moment is memorable.
Purchases of late:
1. Rising by Robert Tandecki
This was one I saw at the Bellevue Arts Fair last year. Loved it. Knew Porter would love it, and talked myself out of buying it. I thought about it enough times that I tracked down the guy down and bought it from his house in Sumner. Felt very shady, even though it wasn't.
The orca is Porter's spirit animal. The mountains are his inspiration. And he lives for the sea. And it sure does look nice.
2. Pancakes by Pascal Campion
I follow Pascal's daily sketches on Instagram (as should everyone, I say). He is a genius with color and depicting moments, usually around family life and cities that are entirely relatable. Some of my favorites show a kid staring up at the sky, a series of activity in a kitchen, and a potty training celebration.
I bought this one because one, Pascal was having an Instagram followers sale where I saved like four bucks, and two, this is so me and Porter. The light. The energy. The smiles that match Porter's and mine when I just want to kiss him hard and he's in the middle of doing something productive.
3. Melancholy by Edward Degas
I saw this at a museum once, I can't remember where, but I remember it was on a dark blue wall and I kept coming back to it. Melancholy, I think, is one of the most potent emotions. Even though the way I experience it, it almost feels like a non-emotion. Difficult to articulate but it is easy to identify. I can track emotional times in my life by memorable bouts of melancholy.
So I loved it like I haven't many pieces of art hanging in museums and I think about it sometimes even when not feeling melancholy, there's something so familiar about her expression. So I bought it. And now I own it. And I can look at it whenever I want.
10.08.2015
3 Things that made Jamie's night
Tonight the kid woke up at 10 pm ready to PARTY. Apparently what I thought sad goodnight til morning was just s power nap, saving energy for:
1. Split Jerk
No joke. It's a crossfit move: Jump, lift up arms (or a barbell if you are doing it for real), land in a lunge. Don't think I get it of shy people do it, but I asked Porter about arm workouts and was showing me the move and Jamie just about lost it! He hasn't laughed much yet. Lots of smiling (and I mean lots), with a few mini giggles here and there. Usually if he's really getting a kick out of something he does that silent laugh where you don't breathe. It's cute, but unsettling (not unlike hid tendency for panting when he's excited and wheezing for fun). But man, a split squat thing and he was in stitches? Of course now I'm sure Jamie is destined for Crossfit competitions.
2. My baggy camo sleep shirt
Jamie's been doing this thing lately where he grabs something tight, holds it out and up, and ... Growls. Grunts? It's a bit like Tim the Toolman Taylor but longer, more animal-like, and the sentiment more reminiscent of man's celebration of making fire. It's primal joy, I guess. Tonight my shirt brought out the caveman, which was nice for the copious amounts of spit-up that followed the late night mania.
3. Porter's German accent
Let's get real, my husband has a mildly impressive repertoire of accents from around the world, varying in accuracy and his ability to stay in character without getting weird. His German guy is pretty great, and tonight probably prompted by Jamie's future as a Crossfit heckler. He's all Arnold a la Kindergarten Cop, which is my favorite Arnold, mostly because I've never seen the Terminator, I don't live in California, and I have a vague notion from checkout stand magazines that he cheated on Maria Shriver and fathered kid out of wedlock but he kept it a secret for years. Kind of like Caleb and the redhead girl in the OC.
Tangent! Jamie loved the accent. As do I, so we both had a good time tonight.
1. Split Jerk
No joke. It's a crossfit move: Jump, lift up arms (or a barbell if you are doing it for real), land in a lunge. Don't think I get it of shy people do it, but I asked Porter about arm workouts and was showing me the move and Jamie just about lost it! He hasn't laughed much yet. Lots of smiling (and I mean lots), with a few mini giggles here and there. Usually if he's really getting a kick out of something he does that silent laugh where you don't breathe. It's cute, but unsettling (not unlike hid tendency for panting when he's excited and wheezing for fun). But man, a split squat thing and he was in stitches? Of course now I'm sure Jamie is destined for Crossfit competitions.
2. My baggy camo sleep shirt
Jamie's been doing this thing lately where he grabs something tight, holds it out and up, and ... Growls. Grunts? It's a bit like Tim the Toolman Taylor but longer, more animal-like, and the sentiment more reminiscent of man's celebration of making fire. It's primal joy, I guess. Tonight my shirt brought out the caveman, which was nice for the copious amounts of spit-up that followed the late night mania.
3. Porter's German accent
Let's get real, my husband has a mildly impressive repertoire of accents from around the world, varying in accuracy and his ability to stay in character without getting weird. His German guy is pretty great, and tonight probably prompted by Jamie's future as a Crossfit heckler. He's all Arnold a la Kindergarten Cop, which is my favorite Arnold, mostly because I've never seen the Terminator, I don't live in California, and I have a vague notion from checkout stand magazines that he cheated on Maria Shriver and fathered kid out of wedlock but he kept it a secret for years. Kind of like Caleb and the redhead girl in the OC.
Tangent! Jamie loved the accent. As do I, so we both had a good time tonight.
10.05.2015
3 Things I Don't Feel Bad About
As it turns out, the world of motherhood is rife with guilt. There's a lot of hoo ha talk about how moms need to let other moms make their own decisions, but even still, there's a giant economic machine of baby crap to buy and forums full of anonymous posters and parents themselves who are looking for validation for their own decisions because, as it turns out, no one really knows what the crap they are doing.
Snuggle photo dump!
More on that, I'm sure.
But there are three things I feel pretty great about (most of the time) and no amount of smug, passive-aggressive or well-meaning commentary can make me feel bad.
1. I will breastfeed where I need to.
No, I will not strip down and flash my boob, nor will I throw a tantrum if it looks like I'm making someone uncomfortable. I will make accommodations for situations where it may be less appropriate for the flash of nipple that's bound to make an appearance to be inappropriate or a distraction. I will be as discreet as I can be while not making myself or my baby inordinately uncomfortable. And I will nurse where I am. This includes, but is not limited to the dinner table, a sitting room, an airplane seat, a public bench, a public beach, among a group of friends, with a group of acquaintances, amidst a group of strangers. I can and will excuse myself quietly when I am uncomfortable nursing in a given situation. I don't need fanfare, sympathy, or an approving nod.
2. I will sit and snuggle
Best advice I received about the first bit (especially coming off a fairly hectic schedule, and having sit around and do nothing guilt to begin with) is to soak it up. Soak up the tiny body, the tiny sounds, and the fleeting time your baby weighs less than a bowling ball. I will not feel guilty for not cleaning, walking visitors to the door, doing something productive, getting starting on getting back the pre-baby bod (barf!). I will not even feel guilty for not getting out and enjoying sunshine or tending to personal hygiene.
I see it in the wistful eyes of every stranger who I pass, so many of whom comment, almost painfully nostalgic, 'OH, I remember those days. The way my baby just curled into my chest, and stretched, and yawned, and stared, and grew. Breathe him in.'
3. I want to work... but not that much.
I struggle most with not feeling bad about this conflict, even though I've read a number of studies that confirm that most women feel this way, but so many women evangelize staying home as if it is the only life to strive for. And women who work full time defend it to the point of pushiness, as if not working full time is turning back the clock on women's rights.
But I love working. I love my job. I love the time away from my baby and the socialization that comes with it. I'm good at what I do and want to get better. But it's not my life. And I want to be home. To not be harried and to not need to plan the minutes of my day so carefully.
I don't begrudge those who work more or less than me (unless they make me feel bad for my own balance). I'm lucky to get to have what I feel like is the best of both worlds, and until that luck runs out, I'll take advantage.
Snuggle photo dump!
8.31.2015
8.23.2015
3 things I don't love about my baby right now.
Who said it was all roses, right?
Actually no one. Quite the opposite, everyone loves telling expecting mom how miserable it will all be. I won't go as far as misery, but here are, at 5 months old, some things I'm not crazy about:
1. Claws
Baby nails grow so fast! And crooked! And sharp! And they are hard to cut! Porter is on fingernail duty (and quite adept at it), so I've actually only done it a few times, but it's hard too! He scratches my face, he scratches his face, it's obnoxious!
2. Spit-up
I was sure we had dodged the spit-up bullet when after about 2 months I had only seen a few dribbles. Boy was I wrong. So much spit up. Copious amounts of half-digested milk. Sometimes coming up with a burp, sometimes a surprise attack. Usually with a guilty grin after, but always disgusting.
3. Squawking
I'm really not sure of the etiquette here. I can tend to a crying baby in public, but what do I do with a squawker? When it's so loud you can't keep conversation going? I don't mind the sound itself, necessarily as I mind the uncertainty of whether or not it's OK for the squawking to be disrupting whatever social setting I may be in, or how best to handle it. He's such a cute little bird, I'm loathe to stop him, but sometimes it really is inappropriate!
Actually no one. Quite the opposite, everyone loves telling expecting mom how miserable it will all be. I won't go as far as misery, but here are, at 5 months old, some things I'm not crazy about:
1. Claws
Baby nails grow so fast! And crooked! And sharp! And they are hard to cut! Porter is on fingernail duty (and quite adept at it), so I've actually only done it a few times, but it's hard too! He scratches my face, he scratches his face, it's obnoxious!
2. Spit-up
I was sure we had dodged the spit-up bullet when after about 2 months I had only seen a few dribbles. Boy was I wrong. So much spit up. Copious amounts of half-digested milk. Sometimes coming up with a burp, sometimes a surprise attack. Usually with a guilty grin after, but always disgusting.
3. Squawking
I'm really not sure of the etiquette here. I can tend to a crying baby in public, but what do I do with a squawker? When it's so loud you can't keep conversation going? I don't mind the sound itself, necessarily as I mind the uncertainty of whether or not it's OK for the squawking to be disrupting whatever social setting I may be in, or how best to handle it. He's such a cute little bird, I'm loathe to stop him, but sometimes it really is inappropriate!
6.22.2015
3 Reactions to Baby
I've got this accessory now that goes with me everywhere. It's a conversation-starter at the very least and catalyst for fast stranger friendship at its best. As a social person who has a secret love of interacting with strangers, it's really the best. Only one person I've interacted with in the last three months has had zero reaction to the baby. Not even a glance, a passing mention or anything. It was bizarre, and actually the prompt for this post, because it was so out of line with my other experience. I didn't need him to react, but fact is, everyone else on the planet does.
The three most common reactions are:
1. "Awwww" or the non-verbal face that matches it
The most common, for obvious reasons. Not everyone has the luxury of interacting with me and my tiny human. Most often I am walking in public and, like a sea parting, strangers make a little melty face and just sigh at the show-stopper that is a brand new tiny baby.
2. Lots of questions and opinions
The least common, mostly because I don't usually engage, unless I'm really in the mood to be chatty. It's amazing, though, how quickly people can get from zero to advice giving. Or story recounting. I've had some spectacularly heartwarming conversations with people in the park and at the grocery store (it's not like I go so many places). And I'm pretty good at the smile and 'that's great' canned response for anything out of left field.
3. "My baby is ___"
My favorite, sometimes coupled with one of the other responses, but frequent and special enough to warrant its own line item. 'My baby is 1' 'My baby is 10' 'My baby just turned 55.' Maybe it's because all babies really do look alike. There's probably also some hormonal/genetic thing that responds to tiny babies. But I love it. To me it is the most genuine connection. We may have zero in common in our regular lives, but we both have had this shared experience of the first few months - of snuggles, of unknowns and guessing, of this deep, life-changing love that feels fresh and unmottled by bad behavior and negative relationships. And someday when Jamie is big or annoying or mad at me I will look at someone with a brand new one and remember.
The three most common reactions are:
1. "Awwww" or the non-verbal face that matches it
The most common, for obvious reasons. Not everyone has the luxury of interacting with me and my tiny human. Most often I am walking in public and, like a sea parting, strangers make a little melty face and just sigh at the show-stopper that is a brand new tiny baby.
2. Lots of questions and opinions
The least common, mostly because I don't usually engage, unless I'm really in the mood to be chatty. It's amazing, though, how quickly people can get from zero to advice giving. Or story recounting. I've had some spectacularly heartwarming conversations with people in the park and at the grocery store (it's not like I go so many places). And I'm pretty good at the smile and 'that's great' canned response for anything out of left field.
3. "My baby is ___"
My favorite, sometimes coupled with one of the other responses, but frequent and special enough to warrant its own line item. 'My baby is 1' 'My baby is 10' 'My baby just turned 55.' Maybe it's because all babies really do look alike. There's probably also some hormonal/genetic thing that responds to tiny babies. But I love it. To me it is the most genuine connection. We may have zero in common in our regular lives, but we both have had this shared experience of the first few months - of snuggles, of unknowns and guessing, of this deep, life-changing love that feels fresh and unmottled by bad behavior and negative relationships. And someday when Jamie is big or annoying or mad at me I will look at someone with a brand new one and remember.
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