Book Series: 3 Books on Growing up in Poverty

I recently inadvertently read three memoirs in a row that dealt were accounts of individuals who were raised in poverty by eccentric parents, who broke the cycle and ended up well-adjusted, successful adults.

1. Educated by Tara Westover
Tara grew up in SE Idaho in a survivalist family. They weren't so much poor as off the grid, paranoid about the government, and abusive.

The backdrop is beautiful, but what I thought Westover pulled off so well was her psychological journey. The innocence of her childhood, not questioning her crazy family and upbringing was clearly drawn as was the painful process of recognizing, then finally standing up for herself.

2. Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance
Hillbilly Elegy follows JD through the hills of Appalachian Kentucky and Ohio. His dad was gone, his mom on drugs (like most of the people he knew), so he was raised by his tough as nails grandmother. He goes on become a Yale educated lawyer

Vance describes a culture in crisis: addiction, lack of opportunity, and a fierce competitiveness and loyalty to the culture circling the drain.

3. The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls
Jeanette grew up with an entrepreneur turned unemployed turned drunk father, and quirky, enabling mother.

It was hearbreaking to read about the transition from Jeanette as a little girl in poverty who doesn't know any better to a young woman deeply disappointed in her parents, then flying the roost.

A few takeaways from the series:
-People really can screw up their kids, big time. It is terrible to see how profoundly the weaknesses of parents (addiction, mental illness, general selfishness) mess a kid up forever.
-On the other hand, kids really are resilient. At some point, each of these writers comes to grip with the fact that the failings of their parents are unrelated to them as kids. They each show a lot of grace and forgiveness, which makes me wonder if that is an element of their success or possibly a byproduct of writing a good story. (They say writing is therapy. You have to give parents full fair treatment)
-For each person, there were helpers along the way who gave Tara, JD, and Jeanette opportunities their parents otherwise kept from them. Teachers, religious and community leaders, extended family, siblings even.
-Each of the parents, for all their flaws, taught very fiercely the lesson: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. I have to think that lesson, even without much other parental support, was received and internalized by the children, each of whom went on to be very successful.

3 Ways to Use Old Hard Rice

I used to hate rice. After coming home from Thailand I literally didn't eat it for a year. At some point, something changed and now I could eat jasmine rice by the spoonful, like ice cream. Leftover rice, though, is not so good. It's crunchy and dry, it never soaks up the good stuff (whatever it is that's ladled over it) like it should.

So here's what I like to do with my leftovers:

1. Fried rice
Every Asian country seems to do it differently. I never cared for fried rice from Chinese restaurants (or the Safeway Chinese counter), but homemade Chinese style fried rice can be excellent. First saute onions and garlic, then add hard veggies like carrots or broccoli, bell peppers or green beans, corn or peas. Add rice and stir it all up, then add sauce last. I've started experimenting with making my own stir fry sauces and like best ones with soy sauce, hoisin sauce, mirin, and ginger. When it's all combined garnish with green onions, cilantro, and lime

2. Rice pudding
Because it makes spoonfuls of jasmine rice even more like ice cream. There is no end to how you can customize it. I'm partial to simply cinnamon or banana flavor, but recently saw a recipe for rice pudding with raspberries and pistachios.
Add equal parts rice and milk, and heat until it's all creamy (20-30 minutes on a stove top, less in an instant pot, more in a slow cooker)

3. Congee/jok/rice porridge
Thai style is with mushroom and ginger, garnished with little bit of vinegar and cilantro or green onions. You can add chicken, pork, seafood, peanuts. Basically cover the rice and whatever you want to cook with it with stock and simmer until it all breaks down. Great for a cold, winter day.

3 Things I'm Proud of Today

I bought a meditation cushion this year. I laugh, a bit embarrassed, when I tell people. It's mostly orange (for courage) and has an Anasazi pattern on the seat. It's filled with hemp seeds and was sold to me by a guy who was wearing a tunic, greeted me with a namaste bow, and either has had work done or had the glow of someone who doesn't eat meat, sugar, or anything processed.

I got the cushion as a way of committing myself to a better meditation practice. I had visions of making a meditation corner, complete with vision board, my cushion, maybe some candles and diffused essential oils. I haven't made my corner yet, but my cushion is pulled out a lot, and not just as a stage for my son. Since my monkey brain still gets distracted if I sit in silence, I downloaded an app with a bunch of guided meditations (called Meditation Studio, if you're interested). Some help you calm for sleep, connect you with you senses, alleviate pain or stress. I listened to one today that was a pep talk. Among other things, the voice told me how awesome I am and how important it is to acknowledge the things we are proud of.

Three things I'm proud of, today:
1. I finished my book.

I technically finished it a year ago, but it keeps getting better. It could be crap, though, and I'd still be proud of the fact that I finished.

2. I thought of writing it in the first place

Funny thing to be proud of, maybe, but I am. Not everyone would think of it. Not everyone would care. I did, and I do.

3. I'm ready to publish it
Like I said, it keeps getting better. More than that, I've been working on the confidence to bring something important to me into the world. Some people don't have the hangups I do about making private things public, lucky them. But my hangups are shrinking. 

2019 is going to be a fun/scary/exciting/terrifying year 

:) :| :O