You are never the right age for anything.

I have a post coming down the line about turning 30, which I did last week, and all the things I am planning on figuring out this year to be a grown up for real. But while formulating my plans, I stumbled on this gem [link], which could come right out of my subconscious. I'm the queen of talking myself out of things, not always for the reasons listed below, but for reasons as mundane and dream-crushing. Funny how we have a tendency to give ourselves outs for our dreams and goals. If we can talk ourselves out of starting, there's no failing, right? No looking stupid or regretting things done.

"Don't be silly" "Focus on X, not Y" "You're too young. Too old. Too unfocused. Too dignified." Why bother starting a new career or hobby? What bother bettering yourself, you were born that way.

Defeating self-talk is what it is. Pick your poison!

You are never the right age for anything.
  • 5: You’re too small.
  • 10: You’re too big. You were so cute when you were 5.
  • 12: People would laugh
  • 15: Focus on school. You can do that when you’re 25.
  • 20: Focus on graduating college. Don’t dally, just get it out the way. You were so cute when you were 10. But now…
  • 25: Focus on starting your career. You can do that when you’re settled.
  • 30: Shoulda started in college. If you really wanted to, you would have. You were so cute when you were 20. But now…
  • 35: You should start a family. Stop being silly.
  • 40: Shouldn’t have started a family. You have responsibilities now. You were so cute when you were 30. But now…
  • 45: Pay off the house first. You can do all that weird stuff when you’re retired.
  • 50: Your body aches. Lose weight first.
  • 55: Look, just grow the f### up. Stop with the midlife crisis and childish dreams. Take a trip to Vegas, drink it up and cop a feel with a stripper like a normal person. Then put your nose to the grindstone and focus on retirement, after which you can do all that crazy stuff; I promise.
  • 60: Maybe ten years ago, when you were 50 this would have made sense. You were so sharp-looking when you were 40. But now…
  • 65: Focus on the grandkids. Don’t be selfish. It’s ugly to be selfish when you’re old. It’s endearing in young people, but on you, it just makes you look like you’re a jerk.
  • 75: People would laugh. You’re old now. You should a started when you were 45. In your prime. But that was 30 years ago, you coulda had 30 years of practice under your belt by now.
  • 85: What’s the point anyway? You were still so cute when you were 50. But now…
  • 90: Be dignified and act your age! It’s unseemly trying to be young! Get a cane and a limp like a normal person!


3 Best Meals I Had During Pregnancy

Contrary to what I expected, and what everyone incessantly asked about, I didn't have any bizarre food cravings during pregnancy. Maybe it's because I crave weird things outside pregnancy and don't feel bad about acting on them that it didn't feel much different.

What did change, however, was the sense of satisfaction after eating. After being ravenously hungry (seriously. never in my life have I ever been so panicked at the idea of not eating all of the sudden), an incredible peace came from eating.

Three times in particular, what I ate felt life-changing, and I can still, a year or so later, remember the sheer elation of my meal.

1. Som Tam

Apparently I've got a Thai baby, because I ate spicy food without consequence and the smell of jasmine rice could almost bring me to my knees. But one weekend, Porter was out of town and I had been in the mood for Thai papaya salad. I walked down to one of the Thai restaurants in town and did the whole song and dance about me speaking Thai and how I wanted any food to be legit Thai, not American Thai. All I really wanted was som tam, but they didn't have it, so I had to politely excuse myself and make my way to the other Thai restaurant in town (owned by the same family, it turns out).

After another little I Speak Thai intro, I ordered my som tam (thai thae) and spent the next hour eating it bite by bite, all by myself. I was the only person in the whole restaurant the entire time I was there. I think I had brought a book with me, but it was all about the papaya salad. I walked home in a daze like I had just left an hour long massage and didn't stop talking about the meal for a week. The word 'life-changing' was used, and I meant it.

2. Big Mac

I'm generally an order off the dollar menu kind of girl, so I don't usually do any of the 'Real' burgers at fast food places, but I must have seen one of McDonald's million billboards or flashy trucks because I had Big Mac on the brain. After a few days of thinking about it but sold on eating healthy, I was in a yoga class and decided that health-be-damned, I was getting a Big Mac. You hear sometimes about how serial killers get off on picturing their crime before it happens. My Big Mac was like that. Yoga classes are over an hour freaking long and Gentle Yoga is a total snooze, so I absolutely fantasized about my burger for well over 30 minutes. Even more creepy was that I got it drive-through, drove into a random neighborhood and ate it in my car. Ravenous pregnant woman on the side of road absolutely destroying a Big Mac.

3. Dr Pepper

Work was pretty stressful the last half of my pregnancy and I frequently fueled up on DP. You can always count on DP. There was one particular time, though. It was Christmas time, which means Year-End giving in the nonprofit world, and we were gearing up for a sprint toward our Luncheon just after New Year. It must have been one of the first times I really realized how busy the next 4 months would be. I don't remember what happened on the day, but I know which gas station it was from and which attendant was at the register. It was a magical soda and I'll never forget it.


3 Favorite things about Jamie... so far

We've had this little dude for just over 2 weeks now. Long enough to be considered experts on all things parenting and baby. For sure.

What amazes me is how I just can't stop looking at him. Sometimes I'm wistful, already picturing him at 20 and hopefully an awesome human being; or in awe and almost crippled by the magnitude of this thing they call motherhood- how my life is officially turned upside down now and how it's true what everyone says about never being the same again from the moment after that final push and first cry. Mostly, though, I'm just plain pleased. Delighted. Tickled. I've got the little zippidy doo dah bird on my shoulder while I watch this tiny little thing that came out of nowhere (out of ME!) just sitting there, looking around, trying to figure out how to be alive. 17 days of watching and here's my favorite things to watch for:

1. Sounds. Little woodland creature sounds. Mouth clicks, whimpers, and breathing patterns that make you wonder if he has to actively focus on how to breathe in and out like a normal person. Satisfied gasps for air after a long feed I can identify with (like the deep breath after a perfectly refreshing glass of cold water). Even farts and belches are hilarious (such indelicate sounds from such a tiny thing, hah!).

2. Faces. Grumpy face... gassy face... wide-eyed filled with horror or confusion faces. Inklings of smiles. He does a mean Sloth from the Goonies impression. The biggest yawn relative to a face I've ever seen. They are all adorable, hilarious, or downright pitiful. I presume that these only get better as vision improves and he can actually react to things outside his own body.

3. Mornings. While I can't yet complain even the slightest about Jamie's nights (we got a sleeper, wahoooo!!), every night still is an adjustment in figuring our where he should sleep, how long should I make him feed, when to get Porter up and involved (he's always willing, I just don't really see the point in him being awake if I already am up and on top of it). So it's always a bit of a relief when it's morning, Porter gets up to go work out and I can just snuggle in bed with my little man. He's usually alert, happy, and without the red face he often gets later on in the day. Pretty much perfect.

This is the closest I can get to capturing morning magic, complements of Google's Auto Awesome. Hardly does it justice.