You are never the right age for anything.

I have a post coming down the line about turning 30, which I did last week, and all the things I am planning on figuring out this year to be a grown up for real. But while formulating my plans, I stumbled on this gem [link], which could come right out of my subconscious. I'm the queen of talking myself out of things, not always for the reasons listed below, but for reasons as mundane and dream-crushing. Funny how we have a tendency to give ourselves outs for our dreams and goals. If we can talk ourselves out of starting, there's no failing, right? No looking stupid or regretting things done.

"Don't be silly" "Focus on X, not Y" "You're too young. Too old. Too unfocused. Too dignified." Why bother starting a new career or hobby? What bother bettering yourself, you were born that way.

Defeating self-talk is what it is. Pick your poison!

You are never the right age for anything.

• 5: You’re too small.
• 10: You’re too big. You were so cute when you were 5.
• 12: People would laugh
• 15: Focus on school. You can do that when you’re 25.
• 20: Focus on graduating college. Don’t dally, just get it out the way. You were so cute when you were 10. But now…
• 25: Focus on starting your career. You can do that when you’re settled.
• 30: Shoulda started in college. If you really wanted to, you would have. You were so cute when you were 20. But now…
• 35: You should start a family. Stop being silly.
• 40: Shouldn’t have started a family. You have responsibilities now. You were so cute when you were 30. But now…
• 45: Pay off the house first. You can do all that weird stuff when you’re retired.
• 50: Your body aches. Lose weight first.
• 55: Look, just grow the f### up. Stop with the midlife crisis and childish dreams. Take a trip to Vegas, drink it up and cop a feel with a stripper like a normal person. Then put your nose to the grindstone and focus on retirement, after which you can do all that crazy stuff; I promise.
• 60: Maybe ten years ago, when you were 50 this would have made sense. You were so sharp-looking when you were 40. But now…
• 65: Focus on the grandkids. Don’t be selfish. It’s ugly to be selfish when you’re old. It’s endearing in young people, but on you, it just makes you look like you’re a jerk.
• 75: People would laugh. You’re old now. You should a started when you were 45. In your prime. But that was 30 years ago, you coulda had 30 years of practice under your belt by now.
• 85: What’s the point anyway? You were still so cute when you were 50. But now…
• 90: Be dignified and act your age! It’s unseemly trying to be young! Get a cane and a limp like a normal person!