12.14.2014

Three areas in Which I have NO Self-Control


I've got it together, right? I don't smoke or drink (even coffee!) and never have. I have an impressive enough title. I volunteer through my church in both teaching and leadership roles. I'm growing a baby inside my body and take prenatal vitamins (almost) every day. I raise money for people in need. I'm reasonably informed about pop culture, world events, and the goings-on of friends and family. You might just say I'm a freaking master of the universe. (This may or may not be my personal script for one of these)

Well, mostly. Except for I have zero self-control when it comes to:

1. Waking up early for no reason
Give me an appointment at dawn (or, in Seattle winter reality, before dawn) and I'll be there. It takes me 15 minutes from eyes open to dressed, (dry) shampooed, and reasonably made-up and ready to go. Early flight, early meeting, early breakfast with a friend (who's scheduling that, anyway?), whatever, I'm there. If it's say, waking up to run errands, clean, or dare I say exercise, forget about it. Sleep, my beloved crossword puzzle app, or really any amount of staring at a wall or ceiling will always win. Always. Tasks intentioned before my brain goes into scheduled mode are in no way reliable.

2. Binge-streaming
I'll talk myself out of watching a movie on my to-watch list because I don't want to waste 90 minutes,then proceed to watch 4 episodes (or more) in a row of whatever is my show of the moment. My favorite are shows with more than 5 seasons with enough drama and comedy to engage me but are humdrum enough that I can tell myself I can be otherwise productive while watching them. Grey's Anatomy was 9 months of crack. I'm working through Gilmore Girls now.

Curses to Netflix.

3. Cereal
It's got to be some sort of childhood regression. I ate a lot of cereal as a child. I eat a lot of cereal now. I think I'd be perfectly happy eating cereal for all meals every day. My brain might not agree - I have come to the responsible conclusion that cereal is not actually brain food and actually causes energy spikes and crashes worse than candy or soda. Doesn't change anything: I want it. I can't get enough. Buy a box and it will be the first suggestion for every meal. Multiple bowls, until I don't even like the cereal anymore. That's sickness right there. I've lately taken to taking plastic sandwich baggies of the good stuff (Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Life) from my parents after Sunday night dinner. All the yum with many fewer food comas.

Cheez-its are the only other snack that seem to have a similar cannot-stop-until-I'm-sick-and-miserable effect on me. Life and Cheez-its, in my dreams an nightmares equally.


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