3 Areas I Need Regular Validation

I like to think I'm a confident person, somehow spared from the weight of caring about what other people think about most aspects of my life. There are a few exceptions.

1. Your bangs look great.

I do this thing every couple years where I pine after bangs, ask everyone I know who has them all about them (how they style, how often they trim, etc), consult with a stylist (who usually says that my hair isn't well-suited for bangs), then one day impulsively get bangs cut. Then regret it for 4 months until they reach this magical place where I love them for 3 weeks. Then I hate them all over again. It's really a pitiful dance I do. Not unlike the woman who goes back to her abusive lover for the rare spark of magic. But I can't stop. The three weeks of bang heaven (that's what 'she' calls it too) somehow seem to make it all worth it.

In the meantime, I complain, I fidget, I style and re-style, and bemoan how greasy my hair gets and stringy the strands get and LOVE more than anything an unsolicited "Your bangs look great!"

2. Take your time/I'm in no hurry.

I'm aware that I'm a slow mover when I'm on my own, so when I'm with someone doing something (like shopping for example, or site-seeing, or enjoying any number of activities with a friend or loved one), I get weirdly preoccupied with accommodating to their speed. So it's so wonderful when I am reassured at the lack of hurry so I can revert to my own pace guilt-free.

3. You are a good mom.

I actually do think I'm a good mom, It's just the mommy industry and all the mommy chatter are a near constant attack on the idea that anyone could or should think they are a good mom. Even if there's not a right way or wrong way, there's a better way, and usually you don't find out about the better way until you've already been doing it the just OK way for so long that changing to the better way is no small feat. If I've learned anything from the many kick-ass moms in my inner circle it's that there's a million ways to mom. But still... it's nice to hear I'm doing OK.

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