Me blind, shall SEE!

I got my first pair of glasses when I was in the fifth grade. I don't remember the board being fuzzy or requesting a visit to the eye doctor, just that I got my glasses a few days before our school's outdoor ed week at Camp Orkila. By the time I got home from camp, my brand new lenses were all scratched up. Its only looking back that I realize how huge those glasses were. Thanks a lot, mom.

I got contacts in the fifth grade too, but didn't wear them much until 7th grade, when my best friend who I was trying with all my little 12 year old heart to keep up with through the first and most awkward stages of puberty ditched her glasses for a more mature (that's ma-toor, not matchur) look. I realized that swimming in contacts was cake as soon as we went on family vacation to Mexico with a family friend-boy that I was crushing on. He was two years older and I wouldn't be caught dead on the beach in those monster goggles. Kathryn and Cam weren''t in glasses and neither again would I be.

Until last week, for four days, as directed by my eye doctor (now, what's the difference between an optometrist and ophthamologist?). After 16 years of hating my bad eyes, I finally cracked and ordered myself some laser eye surgery. This week reminded me of how much I for real hate wearing glasses, all the temple squeezing and nose marking going on, with blurry periphery and glasses falling off my face all the time, made all the more pathetic since my most up-to-date prescriptioned pair (the much more fashionable red, square frame, left) is missing its left ear stem and the one with that's not falling to pieces has a five years old prescription and a shape I'm not sure what I was thinking when I ordered (it's kind of a cross between an oval and a trapezoid if you can picture it).

I was always a contacts girl, ever since I was peer pressured into them at least. I was hard core with gas permeable (hard) lenses until late high school when I realized that the only reason to wear hard lenses is to keep your vision from getting worse (by holding the cornea in place), and my vision was worsening regardless. Hard lenses also last for just about ever, which would have saved me (or my parents rather) some money if I didn't keep losing mine and having to replace them at $100 bucks a pop. So I've been a softy since then, which has gone mostly problem free, except for the occasional torn lens, which is really only a problem when it happens while driving, or riding along in a tuk tuk at 60mph in Cambodia, as has been the case on a few occasions.

But now all that's over. Near-sighted no more. Thanks to Clearly Lasik, a boo ya BizX discount through my dad, and whichever crazy scientist invented PRK technology. I'm officially just plain old glorious sighted. All it took was six minutes (three minutes an eye) and a probably way over-paid doctor who works four days a month (I was the 24th out of 25 surgeries on my day, and the second highest prescription! -7.5 in both eyes. Beat that!), but seriously the nicest guy and most positive staff that could be possible.

I spent almost 2 days straight sleeping, mostly lounging (or... dropping it like it's hot) in sweet outfits like this one. Always with my razor shades, way to big for my face but blocking out the light to meet my needs. But after 2.5 days of recovery, I'm not really light sensitive or all that dry eyed anymore. I'm still only up to 20/25 but that's street legal and it's supposed to increasingly improve over time.

A lifetime of paying for glasses I don't wear, contacts that need to be maintained every day and thrown out every two weeks (orrr three... :)), not being able to see the clock when I wake up or my shampoo when I shower. That mulchy feeling in your eyes if happen to sleep in your contacts. Being able to see the contact rim in photos. A new weirdo optometrist every year. Mini-stress sessions while trying to decipher the letter board at the smallest row or deciding if option or two is clearer when they look almost exactly the same or maybe your eyes are just watering or your eyelashes are bumping the screen and messing up the diagnosis. A hundred thousand contact cases given to you for free, but never when you need them.

So. Over.