A little busy...

Seriously bloggers, could I be more depressing. With all my spouting on and on about hibernating bad days, it should be safe to assume that all I'm doing with Christmas cheer is throwing it out the window and hating my life.

Not so.

I've been keeping busy, even in the darkness and I've got pictures to prove it. A few at least, most of which I've scammed off of Facebook (i.e. Russ). Just a few to tease your imagination (and prove I'm not a full time couch potato). A little bit of Whistler, a throw back to Halloween, Lisa in town, Turkey Bowl, my new boyfriend GSP, sight-seeing Seattle, out dancing, and looking like a rock star.



That said, I have been netflixing it up when occasion permits. Right now: The Way We Were (doesn't everyone know Barbara Streisand is cross-eyed and Robert Redford is the ultimate dreamboat? "couldn't we both win?")

It's the absolute worst...

I had an awful day today. Busy, hectic, rife with conflict. It's not the worst day I'll ever have, no doubt, but I'm certainly glad the day is over. I hate days like this because they remind me that I'm not immune to negativity and that nagging feeling of 'I can't wait til this is over so I can move on with my life'. To commemorate this most obnoxious feeling, and because it's been a long, tired, cranky week, I have compiled a list of ten other feelings I have felt at some point and just hate.

Don't you hate:

• Impatience in situations or regarding decisions where you entirely lack any semblance of control or power (Don't want to talk about today, thank you)
  
• Making eye contact with the person you accidentally cut off or in someway offended via traffic (whooops!)
  
• Finding something on clearance that you bought yesterday at full price (waste of money fail!)
  
• Realizing that he just isn't crazy about you anymore... and that's not going to change (again? really?)
  
• Watching in the rearview mirror after zooming by a parked cop (worse: those lights in the rearview mirror)
  
• 3pm after 3 hours of sleep (zzzzzzzzzz)
  
• Losing something you borrowed, especially if it's important to the lender (being forgetful bites you in the butt sometimes)
  
• Missing someone when all you can do to tell them is say 'I miss you' out loud and hope they hear you (sigh)
  
• Waking up for something important 3 minutes before you're supposed to be there (usually when that event is 20 plus minutes and fa harried freshening up away)
• Negative feelings towards someone you love (eventually passing doesn't make it any better)

I sure do. And others like them. But I've made cupcakes now and I'm on the up and up. Happy feelings and straight on til morning!

I have a crush

I have a crush on Marion Cotillard. In her family there's a mime, sculptor, ballerina, and fashion designer. How could she not grow up to be an amazing actress. She is the only French actress to ever receive an Academy Award (for a French film), she received a special 'Order or Arts and Letters' award from the French government for her contributions to French culture. She sings, she dances, she takes breaths away. She has sung with Franz Ferdinand and loves Radiohead. And to tie it all together, she is just adorable! Come, crush with me.


"I am totally overwhelmed with joy and sparkles and fireworks. everything which goes like 'bom! bom! bom!' i just ate all these things and it's happening right here right now."


Broken French is so cute. And so is the voluminous pouf, and 60's flipped out long hair. I want to be her best friend!

Just lovely. and haunting.








Somehow still so lovely. and wise.

hibernating.

It's dark now. And by now I mean 5pm. Okay, it's actually almost eleven now, but the sky looks just the same as it did five hours ago. I have officially entered winter hibernation patterns. I had forgotten about this whole nine or less hours of daylight thing since the last time I had a Seattle winter some eight years ago. Snow and inversion are a worse sort of enemy in my opinion and I'm glad to have left them in the hands of the skiers and snowbums who think it's a worthwhile price to pay for proximity to powder. But I have to admit, this darkness is more menacing than I remembered.

Every day about 3 pm, when the sun is bright and sometimes even has burned through the clouds for a nice bright blue sky, I make all sorts of plans for the night. A run [for my heart], errands [I'm out of contacts and the ones I have make my eyes burn], out with friends [they're probably not hibernating...right?], evening reading [my to-read pile is now 6 books high. I'm 18 pages into 'Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productvity.' It's good], and a little time on one of my projects of the moment [painting my new frames, finding photos for the frames, mastering the electric guitar, etc...].

What I forget every day is that by the time I get home, my run is doused in darkness and rain, and as are an motivation to do anything. Snacks for dinner means no cheap, healthy eftovers for tomorrow, which means another day at my new favorite restaurant, Deli Seoul, where I could get an egg salad sandwich, kimchee, and a donut all in one stop [if only I'd dare]. Every day, the sweet Korean man who runs the place sells me on the day's special, which is always bibimbap, while I hold up the line with my order. I swear I'm perpetually starving, but can't bring myself to fix a proper meal, instead opting for crap snacks and pretty much only the food I know my stomach hates. Maybe if I rounded out my diet, I wouldn't always feel like sleeping for 15 hours the second I walk in the door.

This week I started up a Netflix account. The $9.99 a month free streaming movies and mailed DVDs is actually a fulfillment of my New Year's Resolution to have a permanent enough address by the end of the year that I could justify signing up for something where I couldn't use my parent's address as a stand-in. I'm only in my apartment til March, but it's dark outside and I have apparently lost the will to move once the sun goes down. So movies it is.

I spent my first Netflix night and the following morning compulsively rating movies and being amazed that Netflix can usually guess my rating by within star. On a scale of 1-5 stars I guess that's not too impressive, but it's a fun game to play that doesn't require any movement or much thought. Good for winter. I now have a queue of 38 movies that I'm raring to watch. Most are in the Documentary or Drama categories because those are the movies I always feel compelled to watch but somehow are never in the mood for. Tonight I watched 'Love and Other Disasters' starring Brittany Murphy with an English accent so bad they had to write into the script that she grew up in America to explain it. 37 to go and I'm not even done rating yet. It's gonna be a good winter.

Maybe I'll go running in the morning when the sun is up?

Important

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Go vote. NOW!

Two to T..y..utah

I bought this round trip ticket to Utah the day after I arrived last time I was there, less than two weeks ago. I'll be honest, I grumbled about the inconvenient timing- just after a long weekend and smack dab in the middle of the work week- but how could I not come back? Napa and Dipu were coming to America and I HAD to be there. I met these all-stars back in '07 when, after months of learning with missionaries and fighting the law of chastity, the two finally moved out from their shared apartment and were baptized. Here's a pictures from Dipu's special day, specially decked out with Napa's feelings for the day, and ever since, as recorded on frequent Facebook posts. "We love Heavenly Father" was what empowered the two to finally move out even though they didn't know when they might ever be able to be married, as Dipu was an illegal refugee from Nepal and had no realistic way to get the correct paperwork.

(After busting through India, he rode stow-away style on a boat from Calcutta to Phuket, then bussed up to BKK. If that's not badass enough for you, once he was caught by immigration police and when asked his home country he reported Burma. Authorities rounded him and other Burmese refugees up and dumped them across the border, at which point he up and walked back, to meet his lovely Napa and subsequently the missionaries several years later. But I digress...)
After almost a year of baptism, Dipu somehow made it back to Nepal, shimmied out the paperwork he needed and hustled back to Bangkok to marry Napa. Since then, the two moved into Dipu's tailor shop (D & D Fashionway, if you're interested. High quality, low price!) to save money for a temple trip to Hong Kong. Here's meat dinner with them in April before I left Thailand, where they told me that since they found the gospel their "love only goes up and up".
Fast forward to October 5, 2010 and I'm with Napa again, this time in the Oquirrh Mountain temple, as her escort and quasi-translator (though her English is decent). After briefly explaining covenants we make with God in the temple, the temple matron asked if Napa had any questions. Napa's answer was simple: "I know. I know God. He know me. He love me." Yes, folks, it is that simple. The next day, I helped Napa into the wedding dress Dipu had made for her (in 24 hours!) and saw them sealed forever in the Salt Lake City temple.
Man alive, if that's not the most amazing experience a person can have, I don't know what is. First of all, Buddhism teaches that after death, the flame that lights the candle of our soul goes out (transferred to a new candle), never to be lit again. Although most Thais believe they will see their dead loved ones again, the Buddhist doctrine pretty clearly states that all these kinds of relationships are impermanent and will not carry on post-mortem. To see two people who, four years ago, had no idea that they could have their love go 'up and up' forever and ever, make a big fat step in that direction is positively mind-blowing. To know these people, the sacrifices they have made to get here, and the passion they have for this truth they have learned is a strength to me.

With the two sealings I have been to in the last couple weeks (the name-dropping sealer at Lauren's and the flighty sealer with Napa), I have been reminded of how important it is that we pay attention to the covenants we make. At baptism, we promise to obey God, He promises to be with us. As we increase in understanding of that most basic exchange of promises, we are ready to promise more. He is, in turn, ready and willing to give us more, give us everything if we're ready for it. The stakes are higher, the blessings more powerful. It is ultimately up to us how much heavenly goodness we want God to pour into our lives by how fully we choose to live up to our end of the bargain. A huge theme I heard in last week's conference was the importance of agency and that we choose our way to God's presence.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity to see Napa and Dipu make themselves available to all the best that heaven has to offer by stepping into God's temple and stepping up to His offer of all the blessings they could ever want. Now, I need to step back up as high as I can and choose to be one step closer to where I want to be.

Lazy Saturday

Saturday afternoon. It's the first day in weeks that I've had a sizable chunk of nowhere to be downtime. Plan was to get my life in order. Seize the day for all its bill-paying, errand-running potential and do some serious damage to my to do list. Instead, it's after 3 pm and I'm back in my bed, still in my nightgown, telling myself that I can't go shower until I go run and that I certainly can't go run just yet because it's raining outside. I slept in late but justified it by my recent jet set schedule and that I was up late dancing up a storm on the new (beta new) Kinect game Dance Central (nothing like this controller-free dance off to wear me out and make me feel great about my [lack of] coordination). The internet was down when I first woke up and by the time I had fixed it, I somehow made it through a Hallmark original movie, the latest episode of Grey's and several months worth of posts from this blog I Facebook post stumbled on- totally bizarre and so funny I was crying laughing, alone in my apartment, glad my roommate is gone for the weekend so I don't have to explain myself for the pathetic state I'm in at the moment. I did unpack from Utah Round Two (post on that once I get my act together), put away some laundry and managed at least a late breakfast.

oookkkaaaayyyy, rain won't stop me, it's time to get moving.....

Semiahmoo

The website invites you: Do the moo! Right now (and in the elevators) they are also inviting all to a Halloween Bash with a David Bowie tribute band. I'm thinking, David Bowie is weird enough on his own, he doesn't need a tribute band hamming it up on Halloween. All the same, I'm considering attending. Really, the Semiahmoo Resort is a lot classier than that. Plush couches, expensive oyster bar, and a happy Kami, strutting around in kitten heels and a silky brown pencil skirt. Talk about a power combo.

Semiahmoo is located on a little spit juuuust south of Canada. So just south, in fact, that I'm pretty sure a Major League pitcher could throw a ball and knock out one of the mounties patrolling the Peach Arch border crossing. In this map, A is Semiahmoo. B is Canada.

Close.

You can also see in the map that the spit upon which sits Semiahmoo resort is about the width of a road. And some rocky, better-than-California-golden-sand, Washington coast. This photo [link] barely captures the surprisingly glassy water against the faded background of mountains. I wasn't here at sunset, but rather the sky and water were that matching silvery white that people outside the Pacific Northwest don't really seem to get. Add in crisp fall air and you've got the reasons why this is my new favorite place.
I was here today at a conference for work. Attendees were mostly men, anxious to get the speaker's over with and the golf game started. I made some great headway on some work projects. And found the site for my future destination wedding/family reunion/weekend getaway. Why go to Canada, when you can do the moo?

You you you Utah

God bless Southwest Airlines and their free flight change policy. I rescheduled my original flight to the Rocky Mountains three times before settling on last weekend. Thursday night to Tuesday morning would surely be enough time to enjoy wedding festivities and the company of everyone else I love in Utah, right? Wrong.

I forget sometimes that I lived in Utah for some 6 odd years and that most of my friends from my time there are still there. The trip was much more of a whirlwind than I anticipated, so I'm summarizing here, mostly using my online banking as a reference.

**Dinner at the delicious Terra Mia with the always beautiful Katie (four cheese pizza and bruschetta were amazing and worth it, even with the stomach warfare they started). I'm lucky to have friends like Katie who I've known since forever and have such a history with. Someone who I can just pick up and be best friends no matter how long it has been since we have really talked last.

**Grey's Anatomy season premiere. Der is out of control. Mer is out of control. Christina should NOT marry Owen. Everyone is acting crazy but the dreamy therapist. Bring on Season 6!

**Many silly sleepovers with Brooke. Only one personal meltdown. I miss sharing a room with her for her bestie handling of both.

**I spent 30 minutes on campus. I'm proud of my BYU Alumni license plate frame, though I'm yet to fix it to my actual car but not so sure about the impulse Y Christmas ornament. I've been slowly accumulating Christmas ornament souvenirs from my trouncing around and thought this might be a good addition. I just wish it weren't so... blue.

**A whole day with Christie! Excessive boy talk. Laughing with her hilarious husband. Lemonade and a stroll down Provo Center street with her blonde and growing babies. And she made me a dress! From scratch! Made up the pattern and everything and I look like a total babe in it! I am constantly amazed at this woman's skiiillls as a wife, mother, homemaker and friend. When I grow up, I want to be just like Christie.

**Lauren's high-so wedding dinner at the Grand America. She's so lovely. Sadly, besides the friend of the groom who I may or may not have hooked up with a year or so ago, I didn't know a soul. The two married guys I sat between were friendly enough. I totally could have found my soul mate at the after party though! Sitting in the lounge, waiting for my ride because I'm a carless vagabond, in a dress made 4 hours earlier from DI sheets the lounge waitress came by to tell me that a stranger offered to buy me a drink. I declined, awkward and flustered, not knowing the proper etiquette in such a situation but soon regretted it. I was thirsty and could have used a free Shirley Temple from one of the 4 creeper males wandering around the lounge.

**I was saved by Melissa, who not only let me borrow her car for the deathly early sealing the next morning but let me sleep over and keep her up late with my tirades in her perfectly decorated room. I have the fondest memories of mission life with this girl. There is no one as thoughtful as her on earth.

**After Lauren's sealing (more on this later), I stalked down Sister Ang, my Cambodian companion's little sister who is serving on temple square. She is an almost twin with her sister (who I LOVE!) and her English is so good! Apparently, they recently changed sister missionary clothing rules- dark, mid-length skirts and collared shirts no longer required! Not that these rules affected my mission much, but I think the church is taking a step in the right direction. Next step: tank top G's!

**Raelle met me at temple square. We left for literally the best Khaw Phad (Thai fried rice) I have ever had (including in Thailand!) at Mai Thai on 300 W 1500 S in Salt Lake. The ginger dish was just okay. Raelle's baby is cute enough to be a Gerber baby and she's a cute little mom herself. We were going to head to the Relief Society broadcast after bopping around Gateway, but realized we left the tickets behind (oops!) so we hung out with Melanie instead. I walked out with some of her somehow stylish grandma clothes.

**Lauren's reception. Lovely. High strung lights, BBQ, live (perfect) music. The cake was not my favorite. But the peanut-butter balls were perfect. And the sparkler and lit lantern send-off was worth the wait.

**I pretty much made Jodi and Tyler make me waffles. They are so cute. Jodi was such a great roommate. The only one I ever had with my same shoe size.

**Sacrament meeting in a Belmont ward. People shouldn't knock these wards so much. It was a really good testimony meeting.

**I was going to try to escape home for a nap after sacrament meeting (sooooo tiiiirreeeed) but on my way out, ran into literally all of my favorite people from my last ward in Provo. People I had for the most part entirely forgotten about. Kristin who I blogstalk; Heather who I have no way to contact but love seeing; Dave who is just the best, my old home teacher just got engaged; the old EQP announced he's still not married (I haven't been gone that long); the old Exec. Secretary who I forgot I totally had a crush on; the guy who I would never date but has the most charming smile; people who I am not even Facebook friends with, but love! I ended up staying for more church. It was just what I needed.

**Stopped by the old house. No electricity or water but still felt like home. I loved that house.

**Drive up the canyon with Lisa on Monday. Utah is so beautiful this time of year. We took the lift up at Sundance (breathtaking, see photo above) and I made her take my to the Dodge's house. They were home (amazing luck) and we got to rehash our trip. That trip was so fun. I couldn't have picked a better travel partner. And my mission president and his wife are seriously such high quality people.

**Dinner with Lisa, Andy, Rachel and friends. Rach is just the best. If I were a guy, I would want to marry her. She and Krista even took me to the airport early early Tuesday morning.

**I caught the Link light rail from the airport straight to work. I will do this again. It's so easy.

Phew. This turned out way longer than I anticipated. Sadly, no pictures even to spice it up. It really was such a fabulous weekend.
Still, it's great to be home :)

Accidental Find

I went into TJ Maxx looking for gray boots (out), tried on 6 sweater dresses (none fit just right) and ended up seeing this jacket and trying it on en route to the cashier. Sometimes, you just know in an instant what will be your favorite pieces of clothing all winter. Warm and comfy, accessible pockets, double-breasted buttons from chin to (butt) cheeks, long enough arms, detachable hood, easy to match, easy to wash, easy to love!

The cashier asked me if I found what I was looking for. I told him no, but I'm much happier with my accidental find. Ready for winter!